Thursday, May 27, 2021

Know God - Know Peace


I'm sitting here on our last night at the Grass Lake house listening to country slow jams and thinking about the past years that we've lived here. I have one last reason as to why I'm going to miss this place and I wanted to share it with you.

Reason #1 why I'll miss this place is because of what God showed me while we lived here. Thankfully, it's not something that needs to stay. I didn't have to cover it neatly in bubble wrap and it's not packed away in a box somewhere waiting to be loaded onto a truck. It's something that will travel with me down this country road and it will stay with me throughout the rest of my life.

I found peace at this house. It's the kind of peace that is transformational. It's been life changing and it's completely changed how I see and go through life.

We have been through a lot since we moved here. In 2018 we left a church that meant the world to us. We left people that we cared for and a mission that we truly believed in because we felt God calling us to leave. We had experienced such hurt and pain while we were there and I had so much unrest. It was like living through bad airplane turbulence non-stop; I was being shook to the core. Once I stopped ignoring God and we followed His lead, we both experienced such a deep sense of peace. And it wasn't gradual either - it was an immediate kind of peace like a sudden clap of thunder or the fast snap of your fingers.

Total peace.

In 2019 we found out our sweet Max had stage 4 cancer and through my anticipatory grief, there it was again. Peace. It was brave. It was bold. And it was right in my face.

I wasn't sure how God was going to get me through losing Max, but I knew that He would. Not only did I grieve, but I found peace. Standing out in the backyard staring at the fields behind us, I cried. Sometimes to be honest, it was a loud wail. But, in between the tears was joy. I laughed. I delighted. And I found peace.

In 2020 we rode out quaranfinement here. As many of you know, Colin experienced some serious anxiety during Covid. At some points it was debilitating. We went an entire year without seeing anyone. We didn't go to stores and we stayed home. Sammy Lammington started doing daily videos to encourage others and I found ways to continue doing outreach and spreading love.

Colin found peace and I found it too.

We were meant to live here. What many of you don't know is that before we bought this house, we had put in an offer on another property 3 miles down the road. It was our "dream house" on the lake with 16 acres and an amazing view. In the 11th hour just before we signed the paperwork, we felt like God told us to wait and that He had something different for us. We weren't quite sure what it was but we listened and walked away.

Two weeks later God led us to this house. We were meant to be here. God knew what we were going to go through and He had something special to show us.

He wanted to show us peace.

Prior to living here I didn't have peace. I use to worry about what people thought of me. I was a people pleaser and would take it to heart if someone didn't like me. I would replay conversations over and over in my head and I put way too much effort and thought into what other's thought.

I didn't have peace.

Through our time here in Grass Lake, I found it.

God showed me that the only thing that can give me peace is focusing on Him. Like the rolling hills in the fields behind us, God showed me that throughout our lives we will have ups and downs and the only way to get through the tough times is to strap on our God goggles and stay laser focused on Him. When we do that, we will experience a peace that goes far beyond our understanding.

Living here has been one of the highlights of my life because of how much my relationship with Jesus grew. I know peace because I know God and that will go with me everywhere.

Tomorrow as we head down this country road onto our next adventure, peace will travel with me. It's a part of me now and it's my #1 reason.

If you are still reading this - you are awesome! I know it was long. See you down the road! ❤